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Death 10 coming soon

Posted by on February 20, 2012

Dear Diary,

There was a bit of excitement last night (finally!). We were just setting up a game of Ker-Plunk when who should appear but the Archangel Gabriel? Literally just appeared, no warning, no polite knock on the door. Nothing. I’ve never been a big fan of Gabriel. He’s got this smile that makes you think he knows something you don’t. Mind you, he probably does.

Anyway, he had a quick look around the shed and said we weren’t dusting enough and that we needed to pull our socks up. War showed him his sandals and pointed out that he doesn’t wear socks, but Gabriel didn’t seem amused.

He then told us that he had arranged for a new Death to be appointed, and that we should try not to break this one. He said the new Death will be with us within a fortnight. When War asked him to be more specific, he said he couldn’t, but that we’d know him when we saw him. After that, he told Famine to do more exercise, instructed War to get a beard trim, and said the smell from my rash was revolting. Then he popped off again, not a minute too soon if you ask me.

I must say, it’s strange him not being able to tell us when the new Death will be here. They’ve got The Book of Everything up there that tells them… well, everything. They should be able to say to the exact milisecond when he’s due to arrive. Very odd.

And so the wait begins to find out what our new Death is going to be like. I always get quite nervous before a new one arrives. I hope he’s not as creepy as the last one. I actually suggested to Gabriel that perhaps we should have a female Death, because women are just as good as men these days, but he just scowled and said I evidently don’t read the Bible enough.

Just realised, because this is going to be our 10th Death that will make him the 13th Horseman of the Apocalypse. “The 13th Horseman”. That’s got a nice ring to it, hasn’t it?

Your friend,


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